Awakening

So a couple of days ago, I was reminded of how much I miss acting and performing. There were a couple things that reminded me 1) running blocking for Brie 2)watching "A Guide to Recognizing your Saints 3) hearing Megan Fox talking about filming Transformers 2. So I started thinking, " Man I wish I was doing that, that is freakin awesome." And, ofcourse, my thinking process began...and it hasnt stopped. I've been thinking about what really makes me happy..and fulfilled. There are several things Im interested in--but, man, Acting and Performing is right up there at the top. And, in many ways, I feel like it is so out of my reach..to be succesfull in that industry. But, then again, I feel like its part of me. And then, part of me feels like a typical sell out..because you know there is a crazy number of people that wants to run away to LA and become a star. But I dont really want to be a star. I just want to act..and be respected for what I do. Because when it comes down to it...I am the most happy when I am working with actors and performing. It just feels like home. Feels natural. And Im definitely not the best, and have much improving to do. But I enjoy it. And I dont want to go through my whole life regretting that i didnt give it a shot. So I've decided that after I graduate from Alabama, I am going to move to La for an equivalent of a semester. Hopefully, I can enroll in a graduate program there and audition in my spare time,,, or just see if theres anywhere I could fit in there. Give it a shot, theres not harm in that, right? I dont want to do it so I can go to cool Clubs ( I am not a partier) and Im not interested in becomming stick thin or getting plastic surgery. I AM interested in using whatever skills God has given me to their potential.

So as most of these thoughts were running through my head, I happen to have an unexpected conversation with a friend I worked with in a previous show, and randomly, she told me that if acting is what I wanted to do..i Should go for it--no matter what. Sign? Possibly, yes? Im not sure if acting is the 'end all be all' for me..but i love it..i love movies..i love performance.. I admire the effect that film has on society and people...and just how exciting and fun it seems to be! So..here goes..in Fall 2011, Im gonna give it a shot.